Don't Tell Him
by babydragon
Summary: Tai's request of Yamato after their breakup... almostangst, tears and sap. Taito.
1. Don't tell him

Disclaimer: if I owned digimon, taito would be an official couple. But taito isn't an official couple. Therefore, I do not own digimon.  
  
A/N: I haven't been written in ages!! Sorry to all of you (if there are any of you) who have been waiting for my other fics… I promised myself I'd do "rose confession" as soon as a got a hundred reviews, but now that I do, I still haven't started on it!! So this fic goes out to you, if you've been waiting for rose confession, or any of my other fics… thank you so much, and I'm truly very sorry…  
  
Warning: shonen ai~~taito, to be exact.  
  
  
  
  
  
Tai sat on the floor in a far corner of Yamato's room, staring at Yama's sleeping form, as he tried to fill in the vast emptiness that had been gnawing inside him for the past few hours. He felt weak inside and out, emotionally and physically. Yamato's face was still tear-stained, and he looked exhausted even as he slept. But Tai loved the innocence and beauty that Yama radiated even in his sleep. Tai watched as Yama's chest rose and fell softly, his own breath following in perfect co-ordination. He was quite certain that if Yamato was to suddenly stop breathing, he would too.  
  
"My last night," Tai thought, somewhat bitterly, never taking his eyes off Yamato. He memorized every dip and curve of Yama's face, the way his hair looked perfect even in disarray, his delicate frame and the way his pale skin glowed with the moonlight. "My last night being able to watch you."  
  
Tai ripped his eyes from Yamato harshly and closed his eyes. He rested his head on the wall behind him, wincing as he remembered the words that had cut his soul.  
  
"Tai… I'm breaking up with you."  
  
Every syllable echoed in hid head, causing him sharp and sudden heartache. A single tear threatened to fall, but Tai held it back. He still felt hurt and confused at Yamato's sudden announcement. He still didn't understand…  
  
"Why?" was the only word Tai had managed to stutter in his state of shock. That started a long explanation from Yamato, and Taichi tried to argue his way out of their breakup at every corner. But the blonde had his mind set, and the argument only ended up in tears.  
  
"Taichi," sighed Yamato in defeat. "I can't talk to you when you're like this. Just give it up. The fact is, I don't think I can love you anymore. It's just too exhausting."  
  
That had left Taichi speechless.  
  
"And… well… there's someone else." said Yamato in a weak voice, trying to meet Taichi's gaze.  
  
"You mean... You've been cheating on me?" choked Taichi, not believing his ears. His Yamato, betraying him behind his back… the very thought enraged him and almost killed him.  
  
Yamato frantically grabbed Taichi's arm. "No! Tai, I'd never do that to you! But he… I…" Yamato broke down, sobbing against taichi's arm and under his cold glare. "God, Chi… I'm so sorry… I don't want to hurt you, I love you so much…"  
  
Yamato sobbed against Taichi's arm, murmuring incoherently. Taichi couldn't even move, and marveled at the coldness he felt as Yama clung onto him. He felt oddly detached to the whole situation, not saying a word as Yamato fell asleep against him.  
  
After his whole arm was numb form Yamato's weight he finally stood up, gently cradling Yamato in his arms and laying him to rest on the bed. After doing so, he stumbled into the darkest, furthest corner in the room and slumped onto the floor.  
  
And sat there, waiting for something to happen.  
  
After forever, Taichi crawled over to Yamato's bedside reaching over and placing the Yamato's blonde locks off his face, thinking hard. Finally he leaned close, so close he could feel Yamato's breath on his neck. He could have sworn Yamato's breath quicken, but shook the feeling off and put his lips to Yamato's ear.  
  
Whispering softly, he spoke his last request of Yamato into the night.  
  
"Yama…please… don't tell him—don't tell him the same things that were meant only for me…" Tai felt a lump forming in his throat but didn't stop. "Don't tell him that you hate being alone in the middle of the night. Don't say you'll wait for his phone call, no matter how late it is. Don't tell him you only like roses if they're from him." Tai took a deep breath and continued in a trembling voice. "Please don't snuggle up to him and kiss him the way you kiss me. Don't creep up on him and hug him from behind, and just don't—don't make me just one of your ex boyfriends."  
  
Tai gave a start as Yama made a whimpering sound, and turned in his sleep, so his back was facing Taichi.  
  
"I… I still love you Yama." whispered Taichi fiercely, placing a light kiss on the back of Yama's head, not able to stop the tears now. He fled from Yamato's room hastily,  
  
**  
  
Yamato was trembling slightly, alone in the darkness of his room. Taichi's breath was still warm on his neck and he could still feel his kiss on the back of his head but his words had disappeared into the dark.  
  
A single tear from Tai had fallen onto Yamato's face, and it mingled with his own tears.  
  
"Love you too, Tai."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: ok, I apologize if that was bad!! I really didn't mean it!! *wails* I'm sorry~~ this didn't actually turn out the way I wanted it to… review anyway, pls?? 


	2. bittersweet

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon.  
  
Hi, everyone! ::waves:: I'm finally writing again, because I realized that it's really irritating to read a bunch of unfinished fics. [[[Yeah, all my fics are uncompleted.except one.that sucks . }} so I thought I should get to work.  
  
Well, anyway, enjoy! Hope you like it^^   
  
  
  
  
  
~  
  
Yamato was miserable. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he missed Taichi. He missed him so much the feeling gnawed at him incessantly, leaving him empty. The droning voice of his maths teacher didn't help the emptiness. He didn't really think that tangents or sines could help him find out how big the void in him was.  
  
"Miss you, miss you, miss you," Yamato said under his breath as he glanced out the window, looking out of the window at the empty field. He could almost imagine Taichi out there now, running after a silly ball so that he could kick it into a net before anyone else.  
  
"Stupid game," he muttered again.  
  
He didn't really hate football, not at all. In fact he loved to watch Tai play football, he was probably the only person in the entire universe who could make football such an incredibly graceful sport. Watching Taichi play football had come to be a favorite pastime of Ishida Yamato, his eyes following Tai's every movement. Taichi he didn't run across the field, he flew. He made complex footwork look like a dance, and the ball his dancing partner. And when he scored a goal, he would always turn his eyes to the audience-- his eyes would always find the pair of blue eyes that watched him so adoringly-and blow a kiss. All the girls went mad, of course, screaming for Tai. They never knew who the kiss was for.  
  
Blushing faintly, Yamato pulled his eyes away from the field. "Baka! I'm not supposed to think of him anymore," he thought absently as he doodled 'miss you' over his notebook. Yamato hadn't seen Tai since the breakup, which had been 5 days of eternity ago.  
  
"He's avoiding me," Yamato sighed, letting his pencil fall onto his table in a clatter. Being able to avoid him was quite a feat actually, considering the fact that they attended the same school, lived in the same neighborhood, and used to bump into each other accidentally at least 20 times a day. But even though he missed Taichi and really wanted to see him, he wasn't quite sure what would take place once they really met.  
  
The bell rang, bringing him out of his thoughts. He picked up his bag, and walked out of the classroom slowly.  
  
As he was walking along the corridor, Yamato suddenly felt a presence so familiar that he really didn't really need to look to know who it was. Hardly daring to breathe, he stood frozen in the bustling corridor, staring at the floor unable to bring himself to raise his eyes, feeling a red flush creep across his cheeks. Every fibre in his body, every single cell was acutely aware of the person standing opposite him with such intensity that he felt his own heartbeat quicken, and he knew that the other person shared the same heartbeat.  
  
"Hello Yama."  
  
Yamato shivered, and somehow found strength to the raised his head.  
  
Taichi stood there looking like he always did, school blazer unbuttoned and school bag slung over his shoulder. He looked quite a mess as usual, and still as beautiful. Hands in his pocket, that grin, that unruly hair, and those glorious eyes. . .  
  
Yamato shivered again. "Chi."  
  
They stood there, neither of them moving, for the longest time. Yamato felt nervous for some inexplicable reason.  
  
"I-" Taichi opened his mouth to speak, finally, but Yamato never got to hear what he said.  
  
"KOI!" a voice squealed as a slender brunette, half a head shorter than Yamato with an incredibly cute smile, attached himself on Yamato(1).  
  
"Oh, no." Yamato quickly looked up to see Taichi with a flash of startled disappointment and hurt on his face, which he hid quickly. "Souta," Yamato tried to pry the younger boy off himself, eyes never leaving Taichi.  
  
Taichi's eyes seemed distant as he just shrugged, gave Yamato a smile, then turned and walked away.  
  
Irritation, disappointment and anger touched Yamato as he stared at Taichi's figure threading through the crowded hall until he couldn't see him anymore. But he couldn't deny that he felt some measure of relief at the sudden departure, too.  
  
Souta followed Yamato's gaze, but found no one there. "What is it, koi?"  
  
"Nothing." Yamato frowned slightly, then turned all his attention to getting the shorter boy off him. "Let go, Sou. We can't be seen like this, we're still in school."  
  
"I don't want to let go." Souta pouted, hugging Yamato tighter.  
  
"Let. Go." Yamato said slowly in a voice fringed with ice, feeling extremely annoyed. Souta let go immediately, half startled at the coldness and half hurt. But he pushed his feelings out of the way as he was filled with concern for Yamato.  
  
"What's wrong koi? Did something happen?" Souta tugged lightly at Yamato's sleeve, but all he got was a cold glare. Without saying a word, Yamato turned and walked out of the school, leaving behind him a very confused and hurt Souta.  
  
~  
  
Yamato sighed and as he stood outside Souta's apartment. He had been standing there for the past few minutes, holding his hand phone in one hand and a bunch of white roses in the other hand. He got them from Sora, after he had gone to her shop after school. She had been sympathetic, of course, but that still didn't stop her from trying to sell him flowers. "Roses are the best way to say 'I'm sorry'(2), and a bunch of roses isn't that expensive," she had said, blinking innocently. Yamato was quite sure that Sora wasn't the same angel he had known from before.  
  
He also remembered something else that she had said. "You're really an idiot, Yamato. All you're doing is hurting the three of you, and for a pathetic reason. The most innocent person in all this is Souta. He doesn't have to be the victim of your own insecurities, it's really unfair. And the saddest thing is that he really likes you, even though he knows all about you and Tai. Its just sad."  
  
Then she offered to sell him the roses. He was mildly annoyed, but more overcome with guilt. He almost chose red roses, and then he remembered all the red roses that Tai always gave him, and changed his mind. White roses was pretty, too.  
  
So there he was, in front of Souta's apartment. He sighed again and dialed Souta's number. It rang a long time before someone picked up.  
  
"Hello?" the voice that answered sounded broken and uneven. Souta was definitely crying. Another wave of guilt crashed over Yamato.  
  
"Souta. I'm outside your place now."  
  
"Yama-chan!" the person on the other end sounded happier, even through the choked voice. "Hang on, I'm coming!"  
  
Yamato hung up and waited. A second later the door burst open, and Souta stood there with a big smile. Yet his jade coloured eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, and it was obvious that he had been crying. Yamato was startled, and raised his hand to touch Souta's cheek, which was still wet with tears that had been hastily wiped away. Souta's lip quivered at Yamato's touch, as though he would burst into tears again.  
  
He backed away and turned into the apartment. "Come in then, and close the door behind you."  
  
Yamato went in, and sat himself on sofa next to Souta. "These are for you. . . I didn't know what flowers you liked, so I got roses."  
  
Souta grabbed them happily, and inhaled the faint fragrance. He turned to Yamato with a sincere smile. "It doesn't matter, I like any flowers as long as they're from you!"  
  
Yamato was hit by sudden nostalgia as he remembered himself saying almost the exact same words to Taichi, many many times. "The only flowers I like are the roses that you give me, Chi." And Taichi would hug him, and he'd laugh.  
  
Now, looking at Souta, Yamato thought of what Sora had said. "Sou. . . I'm sorry about today, I didn't mean to be such an idiot. It's just that-- I was in kind of a bad mood."  
  
Souta's eyes widened slightly. " It's Taichi, isn't it? You must have seen him today," he said in a soft voice, and his hands that were playing with the roses trembled lightly. Yamato nodded mutely, and Souta continued in a stronger voice. "So what happened?"  
  
"We. . . didn't talk." It felt weird and unfair to discuss his problems about Tai with Souta, but he knew that the younger boy would insist until he told the whole story.  
  
Souta was silent for a moment, and then spoke up. " I must have interrupted you, didn't I? I'm always such a baka." He laughed, but it was a weak and mirthless sound. "I'm sorry.(3)"  
  
"No, You shouldn't be sorry. It's my fault, and I shouldn't have been so short tempered with you." Yamato took Souta's hand in his own and kissed it. "You are, after all, my boyfriend."  
  
Souta looked straight ahead, and his eyes were full of bitterness. "But you don't love me." he whispered harshly.  
  
Yamato didn't know if that was meant to be a statement or a question. He opened his mouth to answer, but Souta spoke up first. "It's ok. Really, it is," Souta said in a weak voice. He tried to smile, but his eyes were tearing up again. "Even if you said that it wasn't true, I'd know you were lying. But I still hope, that one day, maybe." Souta stopped, unable to continue (4). . .  
  
Yamato suddenly felt chocked as the breath caught in his throat. A strange emotion welled up in him as he pulled Souta in a strong embrace: 3 parts bitter, 1 part pure sweetness(5).  
  
~  
  
  
  
  
  
(1):GLOMP!!!!! Heheh. just had to say that.  
  
(2): Are they? I'm not sure, actually. Red roses mean 'I love you', yellow are for break ups, But I don't know what white is for.  
  
(3): I so love Souta here. ::hugs Souta::  
  
(4): Here too. ::hugs Souta again::  
  
(5): no, I don't understand it either. It was supposed to mean "bittersweet" but that's not what it turned out to be. Oh well.  
  
So. the verdict? ::is scared:: ::and excited too:: I haven't really written in a long time, and this wasn't really what I wanted this chapter to end up as.not enough Taito!! But I more or less know what's supposed to happen in the next chapter. lets hope its much better, ne? ^^ Thank you for reading and please review on your way out!  
  
Oh yeah, just a little info on Souta.  
  
Name: Nakaido Souta  
  
Age: 16 one year younger than Yamato in this fic.  
  
Hair colour: black  
  
Eyes: green  
  
Looks: oh yes. He looks GOOD. sorry for my incredibly crappy description skills. =P But believe me, he is a bishie! Think Oya Kazumi sensei's style typical male lead role character, except shorter. Favorite colour: white I don't know why, but it has to be white.  
  
Character: is normally a cute, shy young kid . But Yamato seems to always make him cry. he really really likes Yama-chan, even though he knows that he stands no chance against Taichi. He is VERY uke-ish when it comes to Yama. ::laughs:: I dunno, I just like him. 


End file.
